Be prepared, I have a pretty BIG question to ask you.
One that you may have never considered before, but it could quite possibly be the most important question you will ever answer.
What Value Do You Add to the Room?
You know, after you leave, what are people left with? It’s likely that a very small amount of what you said will be remembered. Hard to believe, I know! And disappointing too. Especially after you prepare, rehearse and try your best to say ‘all the right things’.
But in reality, people don’t remember much of what you SAY to them, and instead they remember how you made them FEEL. This is the way you acknowledged them, your body language, your authenticity, your interest, your passion. How do you connect and what value do you leave behind?
Hmm, I told you this was a BIG question, and one that requires some courage, and maybe even some vulnerability to really look into.
I tell you though, it’s darn worth it. You MUST know what you stand for before other people can recognize you for it.
Your values and your actions must reflect who you are before you will attract what you want. And who you are is the way you SHOW UP IN LIFE. And eventually, this is what you will be remembered for.

When I think of this question, I remember the day I spent with Munissara, an ordained Buddhist monk, at a Chiang Mai monastery in Northern Thailand. After spending years in the bustle of New York City working as a high achieving executive, this remarkable woman has chosen to devote her life to spiritual growth and connection and I still clearly remember how I felt after leaving her presence.
I remember how at ease I felt when I was around her, and how much I didn’t want our interaction to end. And although I was learning a lot from her teachings, lessons and stories, it was the way she was BEING that has stayed with me since that day.
Now I’m not saying for you to become a Buddhist monk in Thailand, but what I am saying is for you to be clear on how you choose to show up and the type of impact you want to have.
3 Questions to Ask Yourself:
- How do I choose to acknowledge the people that I interact with?
- What do I give people when I am with them? My coworkers, clients, loved ones, friendships, neighbours, strangers. (Note: not tangible giving)
- How authentic do I feel on a day to day basis? And where/when do I feel most aligned with who I am?
These are some ways to help you define what kind of memory you want to leave people with, and on a bigger scale, the level of value you choose to bring to the world.
The parting lesson that Munissara shared with me was, “live a kind life” and this is a value that I hold in my intentions since our connection. The ease and mindfulness that radiate form her are something to be admired and if we can all hold ownership for our actions and impact on others, we will create an even more beautiful world to live.
With love,
Tonia
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