Who’s in Your Circle of Influence? Why It Matters.

Do you believe that the people you hang out with impact your life?

I know, I sure didn’t.

I used to think that I was strong enough not to be affected by other people’s energy. That their limiting beliefs and negativity wouldn’t touch me.

Sadly, I was wrong.

Try this example to illustrate what I’m talking about:

Step 1: Think of the most positive, inspiring, high vibe person you know. Imagine yourself being with them, spending the day interacting and doing anything you want.

Step 2: Imagine the most negative, “half empty” cup, debbie downer you know. You have a whole day planned with them and there’s no escape.

Now, I’m 99.9999% positive that you just experienced a shift in your own energy by imagining spending time with both of these people. You can be honest – it’s totally normal.

Tonia with YuSchool graduate
Tonia with YuSchool graduate


The people we spend our time with impact how we feel, and that’s a fact.

It’s so true that renowned author, Jim Rohn coined the following quote that you may already be familiar with:

“You are the average of the 5 people that you spend the most time with.”


Basically, if you’re hanging out with 9 unemployed people, you’ll become the 10th! And this applies to A LOT of other scenarios in your life. Substitute the word [unemployed] for any other limiting behaviour/state that you find yourself around.

You want to hang out with other doers, and people who inspire you.

These are the people who authentically want the best for you, and who will cheer you on as you grow, and help you up when you fall.

It may be necessary to make changes to your tribe as you transition into the next phase of YOU – and remember, it’s okay to let go’ of people, if they’re no longer aligned with the person you’re becoming.

A creative exercise to help you come up with your new circle of influence is to imagine your Dream Dinner Party.

If you could invite 10 people to dinner, who would you ask?

Have fun with this! These people can be celebrities, icons, dead or alive. If you want them at your party, they will be there. List their names on a piece of paper – this is your dream team.

Now obviously (and unfortunately!) you can’t actually have these people in your everyday life, however you now know what kind of characteristics, traits and personalities you like to be around.

When you’re inviting new people into your circle, you can now choose with intention.

You have context around what you want, and what you don’t want to be with.

Once you’ve had a chance to come up with your Dream Team, I’d love to hear who you’d invite!

Include your list in the comments below and let me know how it felt to imagine a night with all your favourite peeps.

Remember, success starts the moment you choose to be you – and this includes the people you surround yourself with.

Thank you for exploring YOU with me, I’m honoured to have you here.

With lots of love.

Tonia xx

P.S. If you want to learn more about who you are, and take your life or business to the next level, YuSchool is for you. I’m currently offering early bird registration to my loyal community (that’s you!) – with some extra cool BONUSES.  Book your free 20 minute Discovery Call with me. We can have a chat and I can answer all your questions.


  • Sabrina Chammas

    Great advice!
    Negative people should be avoided at all cost.

    • Tonia Mattu

      Absolutely Sabrina. We can learn from everyone we encounter, the good vibes and the bad ones, but we want to choose empowering energy to spend our time with. When we have the choice 🙂 Thanks for being in the Yu Community! Tonia xx

Leave a reply