Last year at this time (when we could still attend live events) I spoke at an incredible event called RISE.

I was in awe with the collective community of women, who came together to support, empower and honour their dreams, their hearts, their failures and their sisters.

It was an absolute honour to share the stage to discuss Confidence and Self Worth with some awesome speakers doing game changing work, like the divine Danielle LaPorte (below), and to be in a room filled with the uplifting energy of so many souls who are ready to make big changes in their lives.

This year though, as we all know, we haven’t been able to come together as we have in the past, and I’m hearing more and more women tell me that they’re feeling stuck, alone, and not connected with their higher purpose.

Danielle LaPorte, author and founder of The Desire Map

 

That’s why I’ve dedicated a lot of time to connect with my community, and I’ve heard some common thoughts that are limiting SO many incredible women from success. 

Thoughts I’ve been hearing from women…

  • I should just accept that I’m ordinary.
  • I’m not pretty / rich / smart / talented / young enough to have my dream life.
  • Everyone else is doing better than I am.
  • I’ve never stood out before, and nothing I do will change that.
  • So many people have it worse than me — who am I to want more?
  • Only selfish, greedy people get everything they want.

So before anything else, I want to assure you that NONE of these beliefs are true.

Although it’s totally normal to have limiting beliefs (especially when we up-level our lives) because we experience fear and resistance to the ‘new’ life we’re stepping into — you have the POWER to change your thoughts — and ultimately, your belief in yourself.

To support you in your level-up game, I’ve put together 3 ways to STOP limiting yourself with impostor syndrome (adapted from the research of Dr. Valerie Young):

  1. Create a new internal script. Your script is that automatic mental tape that starts playing in situations that trigger your Impostor feelings. When you start a new job or project instead of thinking for example, “Wait till they find out I have no idea what I’m doing,” try thinking, “Everyone who starts something new feels off-base in the beginning. I may not know all the answers but I’m smart enough to find them out.” 
  2. Right the rules. If you’ve been operating under misguided rules like, “I should always know the answer,” or “Never ask for help” start asserting your rights. Recognize that you have just as much right as the next person to be wrong, have an off-day, or ask for assistance. 
  3. DO it ‘til you make it. Now and then we all have to fly by the seat of our pants. Instead of considering “winging it” as proof of your ineptness, learn to do what many high achievers do and view it as a skill. The point of the worn out phrase, fake it til you make it, still stands: Don’t wait until you feel confident to start putting yourself out there. Courage comes from taking risks. Change your behaviour first and allow your confidence to build. 

The FEAR you’re facing today is much smaller than the VALUE of your dreams. 

If you were to try this out and change your limiting beliefs, what’s one thing you’d tell yourself today?

Leave a comment below and let me know.

If you know someone who could use tips on how to stop Impostor Syndrome, share this post.

Thank you for being here and choosing to be you, with confidence.

With love and support,

XO,

Tonia

 

 

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