Ever thought about how messed up one of the most common compliments to a woman is?

I’m talking about giving praise for being ‘selfless’.

People say things like, “I can always rely on her — she’s so helpful / selfless”, “She puts everyone’s needs ahead of her own and never complains” and “She always does what’s expected of her and doesn’t disappoint.”

We’ve normalized complimenting women for playing small and basically losing themselves to appease others.

The word selfless even applies — having NO self 😳. 

Being selfless is to put everyone’s needs in front of your own and to dim down who you are.

To accommodate everyone else’s expectations of you and who you need to be.

This is not an aspirational way to be.

Eventually it will lead to loss of self, questioning who you even are, and losing the respect from those you’ve worked so hard to please.

Instead, focus on being the highest version of YOU.

Start with exploring self discovery questions like: What’s important to you? What are your values? What lights you up? And makes you come alive?

When you get clear on your authentic self and who you truly are — you will start to be yourself, with confidence.

You’ll realize that putting yourself first IS the most important thing you can do. That filling your own cup will give you a sense of fulfillment and everything you need to show up for others.

But instead of coming from a place of obligation, you’ll be sharing your light with authenticity and desire.

With this energy, you’ll attract people that value who you are and will encourage you to be your highest self.

Let’s put an end to valuing ‘Self Less’ and start applauding women for being themselves, unapologetically.

Who’s down?

Leave a comment below and let me know.

If you know someone who could use some Self Love tips, share this post.

Thank you for being here and choosing to be you, with confidence.

With love and support,

XO,

Tonia