How to SPEAK UP and use your voice

I’ve been a bit fired up lately! 🔥

Not because of the usual new year goal setting or annual planning.

But because, in a recent interview, I had a huge revelation that I’ve been unable to shake. 🤯

During the discussion, I discovered, that at a very young age, myself and the girls I grew up with were literally taught to dim down. Not just us either, it’s been a societal structure — everywhere.

And of course, much more detrimental in some places than in others.

All those times that we were told to: “be quiet and listen!”, “just be a ‘good girl’ and obey the rules”, or “you should do this, I know what’s best for you”…

You were being conditioned to believe that you’re not good enough — and that other people’s expectations of you are more important than your own.


I’ve realized, that because of this societal conditioning, the number one challenge facing women today is lacking confidence to speak up and use their voice.

It’s no surprise, as this is how we’ve been taught — however, it’s about damn time that we change the narrative.

3 ways to gain confidence to speak up and use your voice:

1. PRACTICE: in the mirror. Actors do it and so should you. It’s a lot easier to feel comfortable saying what’s on your mind, once you’ve had a rehearsal. Practice what you want to say, how you want to show up, and the energy you want to bring to the situation. Do you want to give off the vibe that you’re ready, prepared and KNOW what you want? Then prove it to yourself first. 🤩

2. NOBODY CARES: as much as you think they do. Let’s be honest, people have their own 💩 going on and they don’t have time to worry about everything you’re probably fussing about. Just show up and do your absolute best, and chances are that if you believe that you’re doing a good job, so will everyone else.

You teach people how to treat you by the way you treat yourself.

3. HAVE FUNNobody’s perfect and you’re no exception. The sooner you can realize that perfection is an illusion and that your imperfections are what make you unique, whole and more human — the faster you’ll give yourself permission to let go and enjoy the process. Look at your life as a series of lessons (good and bad) and they’re all building a more entertaining plot that you’ll one day be reflecting back on and hopefully having some good laughs about too.  😂

Basically, don’t take yourself so seriously — and it’s ok if you don’t have it all figured out yet.

Hint: nobody does!

Feel free to share these tips with anyone you know who’s been struggling with finding their voice.

I’m always here to support you in becoming unapologetically YOU — and I literally can’t wait to see you shine in the world as you were meant to! 💃🏻

Tonia xo

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