3 things to STOP doing — so you can start living unapologetically

When you don’t know what you want — I guarantee you know this…

You DO know what you DON’T want.  🤯

When I think back to my darkest, most challenging days. It was a phase in my life, where I had absolutely no idea what to do, and nowhere to turn for clarity. I felt like I was trapped.

I hardly had an appetite and couldn’t sleep. I would literally stay awake all night trying to magically come up with answers.

Then one night, as I laid awake at 4am. I could hear some garbage men outside my New York City apartment. Loading trucks and making jokes with each other.

They were laughing so hard, in the moment, and not worrying about what anyone else thought about it.

And I thought to myself, I gotta get my sh*t together and start living my best life again too!

I even had a vision of myself.  Letting go and feeling free. It was the first night I slept well in months.

That’s what it took. Two NYC garbage men at 4am, talking smack and not giving af.

To literally wake me up and remind me of what matters most. LIVING.

Even though, I still didn’t necessarily know WHAT I wanted to do next (with my career and life in general at 28 years old — having a major identity crisis), I did know what I needed to STOP doing.

This was something I could get started immediately — and so can you.

3 things to STOP doing, so you can start LIVING unapologetically:

1. Living in guilt — for something you did (or didn’t do) in the past. Get over it. It’s done and there’s literally nothing you can do about it. You are where you are today and the moment you accept this — you can decide how you want to move forward.

You weren’t given a handbook when you started this life (none of us were) so you were bound to make ‘mistakes’ like the rest of us. Bring the lessons you gained from these experiences into the next chapter of your life. Consider it a gift of knowledge.

2. Feeling shame — for not being who you were supposed to be. You probably set unattainable expectations for yourself (like the rest of us) now you’re feeling shame for not being there, yet. You may be telling yourself things like, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m a failure”, “I don’t deserve more.”

But the truth is, your life is a journey — not a destination. And you’re still LIVING. Time is so precious, so use it to speak to yourself like you would a best friend. You can still become who you’ve always wanted to.

You deserve to live in freedom and follow your purpose and passion — just like everyone else.

3. Waiting for permission — stop wasting time. I know that you were brought up to obey the rules, be quiet and dim down. Most of us were. But you no longer have to play by these standards and you can choose to break free from what you were supposed to do and who you were expected to be.

Because you were put on this earth to be nothing but yourself.

In fact, your life purpose is to be MORE of who you are — and to listen to that inner whisper that’s guiding you towards your true authentic self.

That unapologetic 👑 that’s yearning for something more.

With so much love and support,

Tonia xo

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